Hanging in there...

I just wanted you to know that we are still here... I had an appointment on Monday to find out that nothing is really happening yet. The one thing she did mention was that Adam has dropped just about as far as he can go and "he's going to be a big baby," (based on weight gain and the seemingly primitive fundal height measurement). I am going weekly now, so I'll have another update soon.

I have to be honest, I waiver daily between being ready for Adam to come, ceasing the generalized discomfort, irritation and plain grumpiness - and attempting to treasuring this time, reminding myself that this is a huge blessing and an opportunity, unlike any other, to see God's work in our lives. Not to mention enjoying the last days/weeks of having only one child and not trying to rush that moment, when life as we know it, will forever change.

I find myself running errands that could probably wait just to get out and about, knowing it will be a tad more difficult (sarcasm) to do that in the near future. I have also nearly exhausted my nesting bug... for example, tonight, for no apparent reason, I cleaned out the entire refrigerator, vacuumed again, attempted to tidy the den, took out the trash, and organized a couple more cabinets. I think Aaron was getting bored... how did I come to that conclusion? As I sat on the kitchen floor to scrub out the fridge, he was climbing on my back saying "Mama!" and giggling, waiting for me to turn around and then he would run off... and repeat... over and over. Then periodically he'd stand a few feet away and yell "Mama!" and when I looked he'd have his shirt pulled up, pointing to his belly and saying "Anam" (the best version of Adam that he can yet muster).

We purchased our first double stroller the other day... from a sweet neighbor friend of mine whose boys have outgrown it. We have yet to test it out, but I am pretty excited. I look forward to being about to go a little further and most importantly, to regaining somewhat of my former self and get back to feeling human again.

Aaron's second birthday is just under two weeks away. We are going to attempt a brief gathering and celebration for him, so long as his baby brother does not decide to crash his party. In some ways it is hard to believe he will be two and in other ways it feels every bit of two years worth of growing, learning, adapting, and change - a whole lot of change. He is getting so "big" these days, both literally and mentally. His vocabulary increases by about three words a day and he willingly repeats almost anything. He loves to call people a "Goober" if they are acting silly and often runs through the list of people he knows and tells me where they are... "Dada, work. Matt, home. Jenny, home. Granny, home. Mama!!" He did just recently start saying Grandpa, which sounds more like "gropa" but we know what he is saying and he sure is proud of himself.

Aaron has started getting a little clingy too, which a few girlfriends of mine warned me might happen. It is almost as though he knows it is time, time that he is going to have to start sharing his Mama, and take on a new role as "big brother." It is such a change and as ready as Alan and I are for this, it is still somewhat hard to believe that we will soon be "Stacer, party of four." Parents of two boys. A little overwhelming at times, realistically and then slightly dramatized thanks to my overflowing emotions and trigger sappiness. Still, there was doubt that one child changed every aspect of our lives - and yet I have this sneaky suspicion that the addition of another will bring a whole new level of change... not just "more of the same," as I may have thought in my childless years.

That about does it for tonight's self reflection. I have sore hands, swollen feet and a slight back ache and the feeling that all of this "nesting" today might actually help me to get a better night's sleep. I am eager to test my theory... goodnight.